My Style

***DISCLAIMER***
The following blog is in no way an attack on anyone’s preferences. These are not rules that are set in stone of bondage play. These are merely guidelines or merely suggestions. Suggestions based upon 10+ years of experience in this game. Dear lord, I’m old…
Hello, my pets. As you can see it’s time for another blog and the differences in dates between this and my last one, and the difference between that and the one preceding it, make me glad this isn’t a pay service for all of you. Meaning you can’t complain! Nyah! Just kidding, loves, you know I love each and every one of you. Just some a little more than others. In this blog I’m going to be running through the descriptiveness (That’s a word?) of my style in, what I humbly consider, the art of bondage play. I’ve already given what my definitions of what a slave and what a submissive are in a previous blog, so yes, now it’s time to define…me!
I’m a kind, caring sort who enjoys a good walk and a good reason to laugh. That isn’t some joke, loves, that is really my dominatrix style. The walk bit describes my love of a calming, cuddling style of play while my laughing side describes my more sinister, experimental style. I know a lot of dominants are just saying that that’s them as well and that’s true, but for me it comes in that exact order. Cuddle first, experiment later. Especially, and I know a client or two can atest to this, but I become a bit…nervous when I experiment. Particularly on someone new to the field or simply new to me. I want them to feel secure as I feel secure.
I’m hoping also that this blog now will help to answer one of the more common questions I get in my Ask.fm account; how I work. As I said above, I start with my cuddle. To me a client (which will cover the submissive and slave henceforth as well), unless they specify otherwise, will need to be eased into this world as nine times out of ten I deal with the curious sorts. The ones who are learning and found out about something, let’s say spanking, and wish to partake. If just to know what it feels like. In this situation (It doesn’t really have to be spanking, it could be anything from a simple caning to a full on queening) it helps to be a bit of a motor mouth. Bit of one. Let them know what you’re doing and give them an idea of how much it’ll sting.
“On a scale of one to ten…”
“This might sting…”
“I’ll see you when you wake up…”
In the case of spanking I like to tickle first, get some sensation there and let them know where my focus is. Then…the smack! Just one. Always just one. Gauge their reaction, see if they’re willing to continue or not. A good sign is a wiggling rump. Well, that’s the best sign really. Unless it’s from them trying to get off. The obviously let them. Don’t take it personally if they don’t enjoy it, always remember that like everything; not everyone is going to enjoy it. If they give the okay to continue, then it’s more tickling followed by another smack and another check. Keep repeating until their comfort level is enough for successive smacks or they wish to end things.
How I end things is through very standard means. I use the light system.
Green: Keep going
Yellow: Slow down
Red: Stop
Or, if gagged, it’s three grunting noises in a row. Otherwise I give them something to hold onto and when they’re finished they simply drop it to the floor. Or…throw it at my head, which has been the style a couple of times.
When using a cane, crop, whip, what have you, the procedure is the same. Talking, tenderly stroke the area with the tool, let them get a feel for it, then give them the smack. Check, and follow through the same in each area.
If physical torment isn’t up their alley right at the start, then perhaps a simple walk is. In fact, between the two, I would prefer doing the walk first. Not only can it be relaxing for both of you, but it gives you a better chance to connect, to understand that each of you wants out of the relationship you’re about to step into. In case you’re wondering, yes, I’m referring to a leashed walk. I mean, what other kind is there, right? LOL.
The leash itself doesn’t need to be tethered to a collar, it can be something they hold onto or is connected to a piece of their clothing, or even a bracelet. You can either do it in private or out in public, on the wishes of the client, of course. This also gives the client a chance to try other things such as submissive crawling or even wearing a mask. This does all sound rather quick, but so does the spanking. (Yes, I know you can walk without a line.)
Those are two of the more “cuddle” methods I work with. Cuddle, again, being a slower paced introduction to a curious sort where the lines of power can be drawn and interests talked about. The other method is the experimental, “reason to laugh” one. It should only involve those who have had enough experience to want it. Still, no matter the experience of my client this is always where I get a little squeamish.
I like to think of this as the dominants side of the fun, where the client gives themselves to them willingly to play with. This is where we get into fucking machines, heavy gags, electrocution, and all the other fun things most of you have really only heard of.
However, like the cuddle, talk to your client when they want this kind of treatment. Find out if it’s truly what they want and discuss these styles. This is also where my own personal philosophy kicks in; Do not use things or ideas that you yourself would stop a session over, or in fact, have never had done to you yourself first. If you’ve been keeping up with my blogs then you know I started out as a slave and grew my experience there. That’s why I’ve always stood by the belief that a dominant should always start as a slave, a submissive at the most. Just so they can obtain their firm understanding before they set out to dominate the world. There are plenty of dominants out there willing to teach their craft, I myself being one of them. (If interested, drop me a line at my Twitter. I’ll most likely get back to you within a few hours at the most.)
Before I close out this blog, as I see it’s become quite the monster already, I just want to make one last thing perfectly clear. Clients are not objects. They are people with emotions and need to be treated as such. I’m assuming your clients come to you because they are interested, so unless they say otherwise be thankful of them for coming to you. Alright? Alright.
Any questions on ANYTHING, please be sure to either drop me a line on my Twitter or even ask at my Ask.fm account. Until next time, pets.
~Katalina Star

 @NaughtyKatalina