Harley Card

“And in other news, though thought as a controversial decision by most, former criminal Harleen “Harley Quinn” Quinzel has been released from Arkham. When asked about their decision, the board of directors said that Miss. Quinzel had made a full recovery by their standards.”

“'ya got that right, Vicki.” Harley says pressing a hand to her chest as her television continues to broadcast the news as Miss. Vale presents it. “I got a job an' everythin'. I'm like one of them model citizens. Speakin' of, work starts in an hour. So I can't be wastin' no more time on you.”

Still true to form, Harley launches a boxing glove straight through the TV screen before flopping back on the couch giggling to herself.

“Work. An hour. Ha! Sound like one of them stiffs. No matter, Red's gonna be there and we're gonna have all kinds of fun!”

Speaking of, a woman close to matching Poison Ivy's description sits up at a counter, her hand shaking nervously as she tries to apply some lipstick as a woman in a Batgirl costume comes up beside her.

“You okay, Clarissa?”

Clarissa shrieks and jumps from her seat dropping the lipstick as she turns to face the woman just the mask away from looking like the real Batgirl.

“E-Evie. Y-you scared me.”

“Think you're more scaring yourself.” Evie says with a little laugh placing the mask down. “What's wrong?”

Clarissa picks up the lipstick, her body still trembling as she looks at herself in the mirror.

“She...she's coming back to work today. She's scheduled. You saw it, didn't you? She's going to come back, she's going to talk to me...”

“Whoa, whoa. Easy, Clarissa.”

“You can't use my real name!” Clarissa shouts as a few of the other waitresses in costume, a Power Girl and Wonder Woman, look over. “If she hears you, if she finds out I'm not the real Poison Ivy...”

“Why not ask for a switch of character?”

“I-I-I can't. I just can't. If she finds out I switched she'll wonder what's up. She'll e-e-either think I'm avoiding her or worse! That I'm not the real Poison Ivy! She'll kill me then. She'll kill my little brother, she'll kill my parents, she'll kill my dog. She...she might even kill my neighbors just for the fun of it!”

“So I guess just leaving is out of the question then too, huh?”

“You have to switch shifts with me. Please, just for today.”

“No can do, we're working the same shift.”

Clarissa swallows and then jumps when she hears the chimes at the front of the store and then...her. Her excited voice greeting everyone. Quickly, Clarissa turns back to the mirror to finish her look as Harley bursts into the dressing room almost bringing Ivy to tears.

“Helloooooooooo, girls!”

“Hey, Harley.” Is the half baked response before the blond skips over to Clarissa hugging her arms around her as Evie throws on her cowl.

“Heya, Red!” Harley exclaims excitedly before noticing Batgirl standing there watching the two. Suddenly, she didn't appear so cheerful as she stands pointing out a crooked hand toward her. “Conversin' with the enemy?”

“No!” Clarissa quickly shouts standing up between them doing her best to try and think on the spot. “I-I-I was just...that is, she was just making sure I was on the up and up.” Pause. “Harle.”

“Oh. But you watch it, B-girl, Red is my friend. Got that?”

Evie nods and looks toward Clarissa wishing there was something she could do to help but, unfortunately, nothing came to mind that wouldn't result in some sort of a scene. A scene where too many truths would come out. Therefore, she just leaves out through the doors allowing Harley to take a seat next to her supposed bestie.

“I tell ya,” Harley begins as she takes some blush to her cheeks packing it on. “You think you got one bat down and then three more crawl outta that cave of theirs.”

“Yeah,” Clarissa replies trying to get herself into character. “They're...something.”

The first part of their shift goes by rather uneventful. Clarissa does her best to keep the service going at her own tables while giving Harley plenty of room to work. It's strange to her to see Harley working to be Harley to customers who don't even know she's the real Harley. But the tips they leave are definitely special and the fact that this is a super hero/villain cafe that helps to bring in the customers. Mostly those just wanting to see if they can find a favorite among the staff.

When it's lunch time for them, Harley grabs hold of Clarissa by the waist pulling her into the back where she sits back down at the makeup station pulling out a brown paper bag from her sack. Clarissa watches for a bit then pulls out a small container from her backpack much to the surprise of Harley.

“You're...you're eatin' them now?”

“What?” Clarissa asks opening up her salad looking down as she briefly forgets who she is at the moment. “I...told you I'm a vegan.”

“So you're all cuckoo bananas worshippin' some god now too?”

“No, I--” Clarissa finally realizes and clears her throat as she crosses her legs and leans back. “It's just plants are the one true source of nutrients a gal like myself needs. These ones know they're serving mama and they're thrilled to be of service.”

Harley chews her meatball sub a few times then shrugs barely even swallowing what she's got.

“Okay.”

Clarissa can feel some bits of chewed up food hitting her cheeks as she does her best not to come across as repulsed as the two just finish their meal before heading back out to the cafe floor. While waiting on a pair of customers, Harley can't help but notice the cards they're going over. Forgetting her duties, she points to one while sitting down in the booth next to them.

“What's that?” She asks pointing toward a Stone Soldier card.

“It's...duel monsters. There's talk of a league forming up here and even a tournament.” The customer replies as Harley snatches up the cards so she can begin flipping through them.

“You call these playin' cards? Where's the ace? The queen? The king givin' himself brain surgery?”

“These are different cards.” The customer on the other end points out. “We could maybe teach you?”

He asks nervously hoping it would mean the Harley “lookalike” would stay with them a little longer. After a period of thinking, Harley shrugs and rests back.

“Sure? What harm could there be?”

Clarissa jumps in fright when Harley bursts her way through the bank doors laughing as she grabs “Ivy's” hand pulling her along while holding a sack filled with money in the other. Ignoring her character portrayal, Clarissa can't help but be the question of reason here.

“What were all those demands? Why did you rob them?”

“It wasn't robbin', Red.” Harley answers back pulling Clarissa down an alleyway to evade the police. “Call it gettin' an advance on my pay.”

Clarissa groans as she looks back hoping the police will catch up to them. At least then she could explain what was going on and just hope it presented a lighter sentence. But who was she kidding? They never did.

“Thank you!” The clerk from behind the counter calls out as Harley steps through the store doors with her brand new deck of duel monster cards held high above her.

“My first deck!”

“That's what you wanted?” Clarissa exclaims surprised to see Harley excited about such things.

“Ya know where we can crack this baby open and give 'er a test?” Harley asks as Clarissa knows where...she just doesn't want to say.

She didn't want to say because it involved bringing Harley back to her house where her parents and brother lived. However, she couldn't help but bring up the suggestion as she and her parents watch, almost waiting for some terrible to happen as Harley puts her new skills and fresh deck up against those of her kid brother. Deep down, Clarissa just hopes her brother will let Harley win. If to just spare the family a full thrashing of a sore loser.

“Why did you bring her here?” Clarissa's mother asks as Clarissa begins to whimper.

“I don't know.”

“And that takes out your life points. Looks like you lose.” Clarissa's brother says as the Ivy impersonator closes her eyes feeling the tears to this world come up in her eyes.

“Huh,” Harley begins as Clarissa can feel the tightness of her parents arms around her. “Guess I gotta learn the rules. Hey, Red, I'm headed home. All this runnin' arounds made me tired.”

Clarissa opens her eyes surprised to see Harley is only grabbing up her cards and not something to bludgeon them all to death with. On her way out, Harley notices Clarissa's tears and laugh.

“Hey, Red, calm down. We all gotta lose some. What makes winnin' all the sweeter.” Harley smiles and saunters out as Clarissa, feeling the strength leave her legs, drops down to her knees.

While Vicki Vale now reports on a full escape that would normally attract Harley's attention, one that comes complete with Poison Ivy's mugshot on the top left, the newest duelist to the block is instead lounging back on her couch looking through the cards from her deck.

“Ancient Elf, huh? She's kinda cute. Hm? He? Like me, be what you wanna be, I guess.”

“Having fun, Harley?” Comes a deep voice directly in front of Harley who lowers her cards to see the Dark Knight himself standing across from her. After a bit, she brings her cards back up and points in behind her.

“Front door was that way. Coulda knocked, per usual.”

“I want you to tell me where Poison Ivy is hiding.”

“Why? I'm a respectable citizen now. Got me a job and everythin', B-Man.”

“Respectable, huh? So I guess it wasn't you and Ivy robbing Gotham South this afternoon then.”

“I wasn't robbin', I was getting an advance on my pay.” Harley snarls back dropping her cards on the table as she sits up crossing her arms. “'sides, if it was so bad why are you here for Red instead'a that?”

Batman says nothing as Harley shrugs her shoulders.

“Seems someone's priorities are outta whack.”

“Tell me where Ivy is.”

“Ya know, for a detective you sure don't like sleuthin' around no more.”

“Cut the games, Harley.” Batman demands as Harley pouts then notices her cards and begins to smile a little more again.

“Actually, I'm thinkin' games are the best thing for us right now.” Harley grabs up her deck. “One round, B-Man, if you win I won't just tell ya where Red's hidin' out, I'll take ya right to her. What'd'ya say?”