Questions from us to us for you

Holly: When was the last time you did it?

Ariel: That's another question, you know.

(I begin with rock-paper-scissors ending with...)

Holly: Our love.

Ariel: Can't keep doing that. (Laughs)

Ariel: Hello, everyone. Welcome to, what we hope to be a first, in our series of vlogs. And just what will our series of topics be, Holly?

Holly: I think..just about anything really. Relationships, LGBT community, playing around.

Ariel: For those wondering, yes this is technically a paid service as we do run these on the off time during our shows. A lot of people seem to be responding well to these little talking sessions so, we figure, we may as well do a few more of them.

Holly: But you don't have to pay again the view these if you're already a subscriber to SubPinkMutt.

Ariel: No. Even if you aren't you can still read the transcript the lovely stenographer here will be doing up.

(I'm getting my chin scratched and it feels really good.)

Ariel: So what have we got on the agenda for today?

Holly: Questions. Questions we've never answered to the public.

Ariel: Oh my.

Holly: We want to show everyone that these vlogs can be just as intense as our sessions.

Ariel: It's why we've added a little game to it. Holly and I will ask one another ten questions that only we know the answers to. If either of us lie or refuse to answer...we lose a point. What are our points?

Holly: Kisses for you and spankings for me. (Laugh)

Ariel: Exactly. (Laugh) Yes, Holly is starting with ten spanks from me while I'm starting with ten Holly kisses. If you don't know what they are,

(I laugh)

Ariel: (Laughing) They're what Holly gives me after a good session and I want ten of them. Anytime we lie or refuse we lose out on one of those.

Holly: Hope you answer all of them.

Ariel: Well I hope so too. (Laughs) Anyway, we did our usual game of rock, paper, scissors and...through cheating,

Holly: I didn't cheat!

Ariel: You picked our love and nothing beats that. (Laughs) So go ahead.

Holly: When was the first time you masturbated?

Ariel: What?

(I laugh)

Ariel: Holly. (Laughs) I didn't think we'd be starting out so...quickly like this.

Holly: You're free to not answer.

Ariel: I'm going to, but only because I don't want you taking the lead. Let's see...the thing is if your questions keep being like this it's going to make mine seem lame.

Holly: They aren't all like that.

Ariel: You promise?

Holly: They're even worse.

(Worried look on Ariel's face.)

Ariel: Okay...well, I was fourteen when I first masturbated. I did it in my bedroom, on a school night so I knew no one would walk in on me, and...it was different. I didn't really think of anything, I just did what I felt was natural.

Holly: When was the last time you did it?

Ariel: That's another question, you know.

(I begin with rock-paper-scissors ending with...)

Holly: Our love.

Ariel: Can't keep doing that. (Laughs) But fine. Does this morning count even though I had your face during in my crotch?

(I laugh and nod.)

Holly: Okay, your turn.

Ariel: Are you certain this time?

Holly: Is that--

Ariel: No, no! That's not my question!

(I laugh)

Ariel: Have you, aside from Charlie, ever been jealous of a client I work on?

Holly: Why would I be jealous of Charlie? I like her.

Ariel: Well anyone else then?

Holly: Yes.

Ariel: Really? Who?

(Knowing the rule about keeping information private, I whisper the name into Ariel's here.)

Ariel: Yeah, I can kinda see that. She is a bit of a B-word. Spank me in the bottom paying kind of B-word...

Holly: Where are you from originally?

Ariel: You're asking that because of the fans, aren't you?

Holly: They're starting to get suspicious.

Ariel: You know it's because of you, right?

Holly: Me?

Ariel: Your accent is throwing me off so I don't even realize mine is showing. Right, well, full disclosure, while I am an American citizen I was actually born and slightly raised...until I was about ten or so, in Wales. So my British accent is starting to seep out now.

Holly: I like it.

Ariel: You do?

Holly: I like a lot that comes out of you.

Ariel: ...you know that is both alluring and disgusting at the same time.

(Laugh)

Ariel: Here's an easy one, one of the lame ones now, I suppose. Where did I first see you in person? Hm, actually...

Holly: Maybe we can save the firsts for a whole other video.

Ariel: I was actually thinking that as I just asked it and...wait. No. No. You got me,

(I laugh)

Ariel: You got me to admit when I first masturbated. You owe everyone a first yourself.

Holly: But it's you. It's when you first saw me. But...

Ariel: No, wait! I want a retry!

Holly: Uh-uh. You asked it, so no retries. Sorry.

(Ariel mouths a swear, which I won't write because swearing is bad)

Holly: In the library where you worked. Sexy librarian.

Ariel: Wasn't sexy.

Holly: You don't know what I was thinking. My turn now. What's your off camera pet name for me?

Ariel: I don't want to say it.

Holly: Why?

Ariel: It's dumb.

Holly: It's a cute kind of dumb though. Are you going to give up a Holly kiss for this?

Ariel: Kiwi bird. You're my little kiwi bird.

Holly: Aww.

Ariel: Think it's time I stopped being easy on you.

Holly: Be easy on your little kiwi bird.

Ariel: Why are you no longer marching the pride parades?

Holly: Fan question?

Ariel: They've been shocked by your absence this past year.

Holly: I thought I told them though.

Ariel: No, you told me. Then I told you that you could tell everyone when we did our show instead of a pre recorded feed of us marching the parade.

Holly: Well...don't get too comfortable there.

Ariel: I like this story.

Holly: Well, it's not that I disagree with any of the standings the parade represents. I know we need to be prideful of who we are.

Ariel: (Laughs) Prideful?

Holly: What?

Ariel: Proud. We need to be proud of who we are.

Holly: Same thing. It's just, to me, I feel proud of who I am every day. I don't need to wait a whole year to tell the world who and what I am. Every day I walk down the street,

Ariel: Or walked.

Holly: Don't get me excited now.

(Ariel laughs)

Holly: Every day I feel proud.

Ariel: You could still just walk in the parade though.

Holly: Or be walked.

(Laugh)

Holly: Another first here.

Ariel: Another one? Not saving it for the video?

Holly: No, because this one's too cute.

Ariel: Okay, I'm just going to take another first of yours then.

Holly: Certainly find enough of them for yourself. (Laughs) Where did your lips first touch me?

Ariel: Your eye.

Holly: Which eye?

Ariel: Left.

Holly: Why?

Ariel: Because I was aiming for your forehead and you on your way to look up. So you had red lipstick over your eye for the next hour. Catherine had thought someone hit you.

Holly: It was my badge of happiness.

Ariel: Aw.

(Ariel proceeds to kiss my right eye.)

Holly: That's the right one.

Ariel: Exactly.

Holly: No, you kissed the wrong one, which was the right one.

Ariel: Mmhm. I kissed the right eye.

Holly: Are you saying it like I'm saying it?

Ariel: Who was your first fictional character crush?

Holly: Batwoman.

Ariel: New or old version?

Holly: New version. Not because she's already gay but because she's hot. As. F.

(Ariel mouths the same word as before to the camera)

Holly: What is your sad place and happy place?

Ariel: I don't want to answer the sad place one. Otherwise I'll start crying.

Holly: If you just answer the happy place you get half a Holly kiss on this one.

Ariel: That's fine. Happy place...

Holly: Can't just say me.

Ariel: What?

Holly: Before you met me what was your happy place?

Ariel: Books. I mean it's why I became a librarian, right? I'd fantasize about myself in all those colorful scenarios that whenever I was upset I'd picture myself somewhere else. Where I'd have a whole mess of other problems. (Laughs)

Holly: Do you sometimes still do that now?

Ariel: Sometimes. Not for the sake of a happy place though. Mostly to get myself in a certain mood.

Holly: What puts you in a mood for our sessions?

(Ariel just sort of eyes the camera for a bit.)

Ariel: Why Puppy play? What draws you to it above all the other types of...fun out there?

Holly: When I was little...

Ariel: I forgot this was a little you story. Please don't say, please don't say.

Holly: It won't involve my parents.

Ariel: If you can keep them out then you can continue.

Holly: No worries there. But when I was little I always wanted a pet of my own. I wanted a little doggy I could play with and run around with. So while my...ehrn...wouldn't get one for me, I had to make do with make belief pretending that I was the puppy. It was quite easy because I could play with myself and lay with myself. (Laughs)

Ariel: You barked then too, didn't you?

Holly: Yes. Sometimes I'd wake up...mm. Well, suffice to say I enjoyed it so much that when I got the chance to do it again on a bigger scope I leapt at it.

Ariel: You pounced at it.

Holly: Ahhhhhhh. Wait, do doggies pounce?

Ariel: Some do. My old dog used to pounce me to the ground and lick my face all the time.

Holly: Charlie does that too, I suppose.

(Another look from Ariel.)

Holly: This is, I suppose now, a follow up question to my last one. If you could take the role of a movie character, who would it be and why?

Ariel: Can it be a book instead?

Holly: I suppose.

Ariel: Frodo.

Holly: They made that into a movie though.

Ariel: I don't care, the book was better. (Laughs)

Holly: Why though?

Ariel: So I could slap Ghandalf across the face and say “You take the ring! You saw what it did to my uncle, you think I can handle it better? You've no problems with it on tongs or in an envelope.”

Holly: Suppose.

Ariel: That and he can just summon eagles at will anyway.

Holly: Right.

Ariel: Okay. So...why red?

Holly: What do you mean?

Ariel: You have pink hair but red is more important to you.

Holly: I like it.

Ariel: Holly, you're practically obsessed with the color. Saying that you just like it is like me saying I just like the beach.

(I whisper for the camera.)

Holly: Cali girl.

Ariel: Please? Last question and you get your ten spanks.

Holly: Alright. You know I want to, at some point, become a redhead. Like, that's the dream.

Ariel: Mmhm.

Holly: But...I don't feel like I'm quite there yet. Like I deserve it really. So pink is the closest I go.

Ariel: Aw, Holly, stop that. Stop beating yourself up.

(Hug embrace.)

Ariel: You're taking the job away from me.

(I laugh.)

Ariel: Alright. For fun lightning round. Answer every question with a yes or no as quickly as you can. Ready?

Holly: Right.

Ariel: Begin. Have you-

Holly: Waaaaaait.

Ariel: Is your hair truly stopping you from answering questions?

Holly: Yes. Just hold on. Okay, there.

Ariel: Okay. Have you ever fantasized about someone during our love making?

Holly: Yes.

Ariel: What? Who?

(I whisper a name to Ariel who nods in agreement.)

Ariel: Guess I can't fault you on that one. Her partner too?

Holly: Sometimes.

Ariel: We should have them over again then.

(Laugh)

Holly: Have you got my Christmas present yet?

Ariel: Yes.

Holly: What is it?

Ariel: A—never you mind.

(Laugh)

Ariel: Would you ever do another solo nude pictorial?

Holly: Depends.

Ariel: On what?

Holly: What I'm doing in it.

Ariel: Just...standing there. (Laughs) It's a nude pictorial.

Holly: Then yes.

Ariel: Really?

Holly: I haven't gotten your gift yet.

(Laugh)

Holly: Chocolate or vanilla?

Ariel: Chocolate. Make it difficult, Holly.

Holly: How difficult?

Ariel: Like...Stacy or Jen?

(Long pause.)

Holly: Ask another question.

Ariel: Jen or Stacy?

Holly: Nooooo.

(Ariel laughs)

Holly: Do you love me?

Ariel: Of course I do, my little kiwi bird.

(After questions comes the reward where I begin giving Ariel “Holly Kisses”, which is me licking her cheek)

Ariel: Well, as Holly gives me my reward and I prepare to give mine, we're going to take this moment to give the unfortunate good byes. We hope you liked this. Mm, almost as much as I'm liking this. This was ten per cheek, right?

Holly: You'd have to give me room on your other side.

Ariel: No. Ten.

Holly: Ten.

Ariel: Per cheek.

Holly: Per... Good night, everyone!

(Final laugh)