Fredas 26th of Mid Year
Arrived at Markarth where Lydia and I split up. I told her I was
going to handle a few odd jobs around town while she went and set up
for a blessing from Dibella over our union. In all honesty, these
jobs were...tricky. Things I didn't want Lydia to know about, not
after the lighthouse incident outside Solitude. Breaking and entering
into Calcemo's lab. Nearly had to kill his assistant to get out.
Luckily I was high above them when they entered allowing me a chance
to slip by them unnoticed. Didn't kill any of his guards, didn't want
any loss of innocence. Also needed to gather up some intel for the
Dark Brotherhood about some gourmet cook and, as requested, killed
him after. Felt bad, but he could have sent some sort of warning
blowing everything for us. He was just a cook in Markarth, no one was
going to manage any sort of connection. Next I entered into this
request to clear out the Hall of Dead. Apparently someone's been
eating corpses. Went in and...now my presence is simply requested
elsewhere.
Got back in touch with Lydia but she wasn't too happy. The sisters
wouldn't allow an audience so I went in myself. Past the first woman
and through the doors at the back. They charged me with finding some
sybil, or whatever, as payment for my transgressions. I agreed,
simply so we could get the blessing and Lydia could be happier about
our marriage.
27th
of Mid Year
Cleared Reachcliff cave for Namira's followers. Didn't tell Lydia why
we were making the detour until the woman who tasked me with the job,
Eola, came to us upon completion. Why did she have to say the feast
would be a human? Lydia has been looking at me oddly all day. On the
way back to Markarth, I even caught sight of her twisting the
engagement ring I made her. When we got back to the Understone Keep,
there was word about thieves in Calcemo's laboratory. A few elven
guards were running around looking. I told Lydia I had no idea what
was going on there. After the business with Reachcliff, I couldn't
tell her I was stealing work as well.
2nd
of Sun's Height
When
following after Hermaeus Mora's voice, I stumbled
across a cave I felt was worth exploring. Upon entering, I was
greeted by a series of ghostly aparitions attacking me on sight next
to a journal. It's was just part one of four with the others deeper
in. The further I went the more disturbing the story became. A
necromancer was preying on women from nearby Dawnstar killing,
reanimating, and enslaving them. These ghosts were clearly those
victims. It felt bad killing them after that, but they were already
dead and I'm sure wouldn't want to continue on like that. Fitting how
it was a woman to end these plans though.
On the way out, however, I found myself
wondering; what would I do is Lydia died on our journeys? How far
would I go to keep her memories alive knowing, and seeing, necromancy
as an option. Especially this level. I'd be able to love her without
fear of judgment. I need to stop having these thoughts. How long has
it been since my last taste of skooma?
Speaking of, someone's still producing
it in the warehouses of Riften. I thought of bringing it up to the
Jarl, but
8th of Sun's Height
While out
travelling, Lydia and I came across a small battle between Stormcloak
and Imperial soldiers. Despite their own best efforts, the Stormcloak
soldiers fell. When questioning the Imperial soldier, he drew his
blade causing me to defend myself. Lydia questioned what I saw
though, as she didn't see a sword drawn. But I know what I saw. When
leaving the area, I felt my pouch thinking I had six bottles of
skooma only to feel five. Maybe I am losing it.
12th of Sun's Height
While travelling,
Lydia and I came to a small temple location far south from Dawnstar.
It was nice. Cozy. Warm. She wondered how the children were doing. I
realized we didn't have anyone looking after them. That needed to
change. She suggested a friend of hers that was a fairly tough girl.
I'll be looking her up next time we reach Whiterun. For now, this
temple draws my curiosity too much. I can tell there's more, but the
way ahead is blocked.
13th of Sun's Height
As per Lydia's
request, I met with a woman named Uthgerd the Unbroken at the
Bannered Mare. She wouldn't just take my request of protection at
first so I had to prove it. It was a lengthy fist fight, longest I've
had in a while. But I defeated her in the end and she's since
promised to look after my daughters while I'm away. It seems a waste
of such talent, but Sophie and Lucia are so important to me. After
the fight, I noticed Lydia looking a bit antsy on things. As we left
the tavern, she asked if we could take a trip to Riften.
20th of
Sun's Height
Cleaned up the
house, I know we won't be back for a long while. Lydia is more
adamant than ever to rescue the child from the Forsworn. I am as
well. Once things were cleaned we got to talking about our marriage a
little. I realized a little more of why she didn't just want
Dibella's blessing but needed it for our union. Apparently had
something to do with her parents but she wouldn't divulge too much.
She mentioned it had to do with the civil war and I knew, during our
trek, we were going to mention that again.
21st of Sun's Height
Lydia didn't want
to go into Markarth this time, so we stayed by the river outside
Salvius Farm. The way she held me in her sleep it was more the
privacy she was after. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I
received none of it. I was distracted by a vision. A white light that
appeared to push away from me and yet surround me at the same time.
Green smoke came around my feet and I could feel myself inhale it. I
don't know what it meant, I just feel as though something is tugging
me north. Something I must obey.
Tonights dinner
was a stew containing chicken, a little mudcrab, diced dark elf,
sliced redguard, and a little forsworn for added spice. Lydia didn't
want any. She said since that clearing of the cave for those
“unsavory” people I've been looking at people differently. Come
to think of it, it makes sense now why she's stopped being
comfortable going through Markarth. I told her not to worry, that
everything would be alright. She then asked about the stutter in my
steps, as though I wasn't walking myself but someone was pulling me.
I told her I was tired. She's only concerned but I need to answer the
pull. North. We must keep going north.
23rd of Sun's Height
We arrived to
where I was being pulled. It was a shrine to a Deadric prince called
Peryite. Te green smoke made immediate sense and I was given a task
to kill an elf. I was told of his location that is to the west.
However, the captured child is to the east. It'll take some work, but
I think I can convince Lydia the girl may have been transferred west.
26th of Sun's Height
Managed to find
the sybil of Dibella but Lydia was mildly upset. I had, as she put
it, tricked her into joining me on a completely separate journey down
through some dwarven ruins. I admit it was wrong of me but in doing
this I have earned Lord Preyite's favor. What's one more set of eyes
watching over us?
29th of Sun's Height
Lydia and
I...might need another break. We rescued a woman named Serana from
some tomb and returned her home. Perhaps I was giving her a little
too much attention, asking her about her kind and whatnot, she ended
up smacking a sabrecat clear across the road. She said she was fine
afterward but I don't know. The thought of mixing in a little skooma
with her drink did cross my mind, something to calm her nerves, but I
realized how much worse it would make the situation.
Lydia and I are
taking a break. She insists our engagement is not broken off, but she
feels I've gone too far now. I accepted Harken's gift and became a
vampire. It's a different feeling and while there are certainly gifts
I enjoy...there are others I could do without. I told Lydia, who is
staying at Lakeview, that I will be off contracting a deal for
firewood. She knows that's a lie but she doesn't know the truth. I'm
going to go to a Falkreath. It's small, isolated. If no one questions
the eyes or the paleness then I'll assume my new form. My only hope
is that it does not become a slaughter but even as I write that I
feel a hunger. I look at Lydia and feel the same way. This must be
why she wants the break. She doesn't trust me. She feels at any
moment I'll drop her down and feast. I'll go to Falkreath and I'll
prove I can control this...side of me.
9th of Last Seed
Things
were horrible. Guards automatically attacked. I lacked the strength
to deal with them. What the hell is this “gift” and how can it
even be called that? I did manage to kill a tavern worker before
fleeing. How is that a gloating point? This is the first night, in
fact, I've been with enough peace to write into my journal. I came to
Whiterun for training, found myself sleeping in the barracks of the
Companions. Found myself feeding on every last one of them. Aela
twice. She was the most delicious after all. I wonder if I could
feast on Lydia. Would she let me? Does it matter? I'm going to
Redwater Den, gather up the necessary materials and return to Harken.
If I'm not impressed by the results I'm ridding myself of this
“gift”.
13th of Last Seed
I did it. I
feasted on Lydia. If anything, it's only brought her closer to me.
Perhaps this is the gift. I see no reason to dismiss it now.
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